But the Lord didn't leave me there.
Eventually, He began pulling me back toward the truth of His Word.
As I continued searching, studying, questioning, and wrestling with what I was hearing, I gradually came to settle on the fact that true fulfillment could only be found in Jesus Christ.
I had spent so much time looking for fulfillment through knowledge, spirituality, self-development, philosophy, consciousness, personal transformation, and different systems of belief. I had tried to understand life through so many different frameworks, but none of them could give me what I was actually looking for.
What I was hungry for was not another philosophy,
or another spiritual teacher,
or another system,
or another method for improving myself.
I needed Christ.
That realization changed the way I looked at everything I had been building.
Eventually, I realized that I couldn't keep relying so heavily on everyone else to tell me what to believe.
So I stopped listening to all of those outside sources and started focusing on reading Scripture for myself again. I wanted to search the Word for myself and allow the Holy Spirit to lead me rather than constantly depending on another person to tell me what I should believe.
That was a major change for me.
I initially tried to preserve Grandeur Excellence by transforming it into what I believed could be a liturgy of character rooted in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I wanted to take the ten virtues I had developed and place them within a biblical framework, with Christ and the Gospel at the center.
But eventually, I began feeling convicted that I should simply put Grandeur Excellence away.
I was hesitant at first, because I had invested so much time, thought, creativity, and personal meaning into it. It had become something I had built and cared deeply about. But I came to believe that I needed to surrender it rather than continue trying to make it into something it was never meant to be.
So I put it away.
